read if you really want to, but don't expect much.

well, i guess i should blog about something. 

i have no one to talk to at the moment, but am feeling like i need to get some stuff out...so...here goes nothing.

sometimes i feel like i just say the same things over and over....my mind does that a lot, so that's pretty much just what comes out.  over....and over.......... i apologize.

well, my phone is dead.  it worked for a day.  then died completely.  also, my old phone is just sending texts in the middle of my typing them.  gosh i hate that phone.  i'm dwelling too much on this, i know.  but really.  the ONE phone i've ever liked.  ah, my brain.

my friend marcus has FINALLY arrived.  he travels a lot, so we only get him for a few months at a time once a year if we're lucky.  last time he was here was last summer for tracy and josh's wedding when piper was little....by little i mean younger than she is now, but way fatter.  she was a little leery of him for the first couple of days, but now loves him again.  thank goodness!  we're really glad that he's home.  we miss him when he's gone.  its nice to have a friend who always feels like he belongs.  you know what i mean?  sometimes you have friends that are just a lot of work.  you're always worried about them feeling awkward and not entertained enough or...whatever.  he's not like that though.  he just fits.  speaking of people that fit... uncle alex is on his way home!  he's had a rough end of the semester and we're really looking forward to welcoming him HOME.  he will arrive on friday night after spending some time in jersey for God knows what reason.  so....summer is here!  let the games begin!

i have a lot of cake orders coming up at the end of the month for graduations and baptisms and 50th anniversaries....7 cakes total, with some cookies and brownies and whatnot thrown in the mix.  woohoo!  i'm pretty excited to make them all, but i'm really having trouble organizing my time so that its not a HUGE deal for me to make a cake.  yes, its an art and it takes quite a bit of time...but i think maybe i'm in the wrong mindset about the whole thing.  i started my own business so that i could spend more time with piper (who is very close to walking...many many steps have been taken...just not a lot in a row).  BUT having your own business is a lot of work, and therefore takes a lot of time.  so i can't just expect that i'll have enough time to do all of my work when piper is asleep...its just not realistic.  i need to have people help me when i need help...i need someone to watch piper while i bake, or even while i just get myself organized!  i just need to accept the fact that i am only one person and i have kind of a lot going on.  i'm a single mom and i own my own business for starters.  i need help, and i need to learn how to ask for it and accept it because i just can't live like this anymore.  i'm tired of doing everything half way.  i need to do life well.  i just feel so unaccomplished, even though i'm getting things done.  i just know there is so much more.

okay i feel a little better.  now i just need to DO what i just decided for the hundredth time.

phew.